Expanding the horizons.
My horizons.
I spent most, if not all, of 2015 seeking ways of safely poking my wee nose outside my door.
I wanted to do volunteer work of some sort. But what? In a post workplace seminar, I was advised to find a volunteer position that had nothing to do with what my previous work experience had been. For me that meant nothing office related.
Hmmm ... what could I do?
What did I want to do?
I thought of many things but had to eliminate most due to what I call my "altered abilities" post workplace abuse.
Stamina. Energy. In very short supply.
Fatigue. Not only in large supply but showing up unannounced and demanding attention i.e. naps.
And then there were the cognitive issues. Also the balance issues.
Living with a brain that doesn't always work is ... interesting. To say the least.
I realized that I could only do things for short periods of time.
One volunteer position I was ideally suited for, working with homeless people, at a drop in centre required a set 4 hour shift in the afternoon with a 10 week commitment. I wanted so badly to sign up BUT I realized that I was not at a point for that kind of ongoing commitment. I could do one week. But two in a row? Or ten consecutively? Probably not.
Eventually I found what was a really good fit for me: petting cats at the local Humane Society. Our cat had died of old age and because of serious cat allergies within our extended family, we had decided she would be our last pet. It was hard on me when she died until someone suggested that maybe I could see what the local Humane Society had to offer.
I started out on something called TLC (Tender Loving Care) for cats who were not very social and needed to be worked with. I was given orientation and training in one one-on-one short session and put to work. The person training me, another volunteer herself, had warned against getting bit. It wasn't very long before I did get bit. The next thing I knew I was transferred to another program called Play Therapy which, by the way, is not on their website re: volunteer positions. I never saw a job description for it. Or had any training on it.
Even though I felt I'd been demoted, I loved it. These cats, any cat in the adoption area who was not designated TLC, was fair game. Oh, how they lapped up the attention. Some would lie in my lap and purr. Others needed coaxing. Each time I interacted with these cats, was actually therapy for me so I started to call it my Cat Therapy day. There is just something about petting these cats, my skin against their fur, the purring sounds soothing my soul.
At first, I would go in and avoid any interaction with human beings i.e. the staff. I was so afraid of people after all that had happened in the workplace that people scared me. To a degree they still do.
After a while, I began to come out of my shell and slowly, very slowly, began to interact with people.
Unlike my last job, volunteering at the Humane Society was all about the cats and their welfare. It had nothing to do with personalities. At least human personalities.
It was good. Very good. For me.
Then I got bitten not just a second time, but a third time. Mind you these three bits were spread out over a 19 month period with the last two being a year (less a day) apart.
Unfortunately for me, the timing between bites was not a factor in the Volunteer Co-ordinataor's mindset. It was the pattern. I was let go from my volunteer situation which meant a lot to me.
Yet even in the midst of this very difficult situation, I can see positive pieces of recovery this past year.
This is not the end.
It is merely a new beginning.
A new beginning into what I have no idea.
But a new beginning nonetheless and I'm looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next.
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