Travels With Suzy

Long ago, in a far away time called high school, I had to read a book called Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck about his travels across America with his poodle Charley.

I thought about that book, or at least the title, as I started this blog posting this morning.

I'm not a published writer unless you count this blog and a few Sunday school papers back in the early '90s..

I didn't travel across America to chronicle the event.

Although I travelled in Canada, I definitely didn't travel across it.

I didn't have a dog of any description with me.  

What I did have was my ever lovin', long sufferin' and faithful hubby.

And my camera.  Always my camera.

This post isn't about discovering America.  It's about discovering me as I navigate my way through the beginnings of the chronic affects in my journey post workplsce bullying.

Especially in this very early, life altering part of the journey.

Near Pancake Bay, Ontario

After the events featured in the last post, we headed north to the tip of Lake Superior, then West to the turn off for Manitouwadge.  Once a mining town, houses are now cheap and many seniors buy their retirement homes there.  Two of these relative newcomers to Manitouwadge are Tom's cousin and his wife. So we decided to visit them and take a look see.

At that time, after the things that had taken place in the work place such as cyber stalking on Facebook, complaints to management after I was gone and a petition disguised as a formal complaint, I was very afraid of the people I had once worked with.  I never knew what they were capable of doing.  Even though I was now gone from the workplace, I walked in fear of them daily.  Especially in the mind of my life.  I was thinking about moving away - far away - from the area I live in.

It's not as drastic a move as you  might think.  In the weeks and months post abuse, post trip, post chronic "altered" abilities (or disabilities), I learned that at least one other person in the universe was so fearful of her antagonists that she changed her name.  I thought of that too.

After signing away my rights at a local donut shop with only the Union VP in attendance (I still wonder if that was legal) while still on sick leave, I wailed that I was afraid of what these people might still do to me.  His answer:  "Nothing is going to happen to you that you don't initiate first."  ????  I wailed "How did getting sick initiate anything?"  He didn't answer.

At that time, I had no idea why these people were persisting in their bullying and animosity outside the walls of the workplace.

I only knew I could not anticipate what these people were capable of doing.

It scared the hell out of me.

As the acute started to morph into the chronic, these fears were very much with me which made every act of going outside difficult.  Scary.

One thing though, I knew from observation that none of these people was likely to do and enjoy the same things that I did.  None of them was likely to be camping in the areas we were camping at the time we were on this trip.  They liked the party atmosphere while I liked the nature/photographic atmosphere.

Heading north along the shoreline of Lake Superior was initially fairly familiar to us as we had camped just past this service centre several times at a provincial park called Pancake Bay in years past.

We had even gone so far one year as to see the pictographs in Lake Superior Provincial Park one year.

After that though, we were in unfamiliar yet interesting in its unfamiliarity territory.

Wawa, Ontario

Although I'd heard of Wawa, I'd never been there.  It was quite the adventure for me as we turned off the highway and headed into the town where I got my first glimpse of the Wawa goose.  Although by this time, my hypervigilance with accompanying anxiety and fear of people was part and parcel of my existence, I remember venturing into the general crowded store and wanting desperately to avoid all the (scary) people and escape.

The Manitouwadge sign at turnoff to Manitouwadge on the Trans Canada
Manitouwaded is another 30 or so minutes North

This is your first glimpse of Manitouwadge.  The welcome sigh.  Which is placed on the main highway at the turnoff to Manitouwadge - a good 30 minutes north of this intersection.  I love it.

We enjoyed a hearty welcome from Tom's relatives.  What I loved most was that we had our own room away from others; a safe place for me in my constant state of hypervigilence and fear of people.  We had heat!  Yay!

The town had at that time two grocery stores, one of which was soon to close, a closed motel, a park with a lake near the town centre, several churches, several stores, a community centre, a library, a school, a medical centre, an OPP detachment and a ski slope.  I was told that it also had a lot of bears some of which would walk down the centre of the town streets.  Ironically, I was less afraid of a possible bear encounter than I was a people encounter.

Returning to the Saulte, we spent the evening strolling around the St Marys River enjoying the sights and, as always, taking pictures.

By this time, more residual, chronic affects had set in along with the ever present fatigue, lack of energy, and hypervigilence.  I was now experiencing balance problems.  Yet, I look back on these pictures with fondness and nostalgia. 

Despite the physical problems, life with hubby and travels with Suzy were still good.

I leave you now with selected pictures from that evening walk in the Saulte along the St. Marys.

Enjoy

The MS Norgoma, Saulte Ste Marie

I hope I'm not boring you with these narratives about this time in my life and journey post workplace abuse; however, it was a significant time on the journey towards recovery.

The part where recovery took a definite downward turn as the physical became involved.

Most of these affects I still deal with in one way or another 7 years on.

However, it's not about the disabilities or what I like to call "altered abilities" so much as how the individual can carve a workable life despite them.