Living Life as it Happens

You may have wondered why you haven't heard from me lately.  Especially as I've been working hard to ensure that you hear from me on a regular basis.

Life is what has been happening.

Not in a bad sense though.

In a good sense.

I've been living life as it happens.  One day, one experience at a time. Enjoying it to the fullest.

Sunset at Lake of Two Mountains, Quebec

I feel like I've turned a corner from recovery as I formerly knew it - more passive than active; to a more active, more people oriented phase.

It's not one thing but a whole host of happenings which have led me to this point of more active recovery: joining a writer's meet up, volunteering at the humane society petting kitties, cycling in the Great Cycle Challenge Canada, walking, being invited to join a prayer shawl knitting group ... and making friends.

We took a road trip to Montreal, Quebec to visit our daughter's in-laws to be and work on some wedding preparation.

I was worried about the trip because of my on-going fatigue which comes and goes at will.  I had no idea if I would be up to the activities that were in place for that weekend: attending my daughter's fitting for her wedding gown, visiting the wedding venue and tasting the menu, etc.  All involving travel and energy.

Sunset at Lake of Two Mountains

But first I discovered to my delight that the place where we were staying was very close to the St. Lawrence river.  Asking my hosts about it and expressing my desire to see it, they took us to their favourite place for viewing.

Family

A place called Ste. Anne.

We roamed around, took pictures, talked and got to know one another better.

And when we got back to our hosts home, I went to bed and slept.

The next morning I was up and able to keep on with the plans.

As the form workplace bullying took for me was isolation and exclusion, I felt honoured that the bride to be included me in her plans for that special day by inviting me to come for the dress fitting and also for menu tasting at the venue.

It made me feel ... wanted and valued.

Again, once we got back to our hosts, I went straight to bed for a nap.  Woke up a few hours later, had supper with our hosts and then went back to bed for the night.

But hey! It worked.

And that was good.

Very good.

Peoples Church, Montreal, QC

As it meant that I was able to embark on another adventure the following day.

Hang on, folks.

I went to church.  I actually went into a strange fear with no anxiety, no fear.

I felt safe ... and enjoyed the service which was another huge victory on the road to recovery.

Street scene, Old Montreal, QC

That adventure was followed by a drive and a walk in Old Montreal camera in hand.

That adventure alone with worth the fatigue and the nap when we got back to our hosts home.

The wedding venue

Because it meant that I was still able to join in the adventure the last day of our visit, a visit to the wedding venue.

More wedding venue - where the ceremony will take place

The main building of the wedding venue - where the reception will take place

And lastly, before we headed back to our hosts for our last night of the visit, a brief visit to the tulip festival with all it's gorgeous tulips and not so gorgeous crowds.

Tulip Festival, Dow's Lake, Ottawa, Ontario

The neatest part of this corner I somehow turned in the last few months was that although fatigue is still something to be reckoned with, for the most part the anxiety and hypervigilence is gone.

Statue at Dow's Lake, Ontario, Ottawa

Even when it's not completely gone, it is now controllable. 

*****

Living life as it happens is turning out to be a truly enjoyable phase of recovery at this time.

It is fast paced, lively and ever changing.

I know that things will not always be positive, but I have these memories, these pictures to remind me of the good times, the good people, and the recovery that is ongoing.

I hope you will stay with me on my journey towards recovery from workplace abuse.