A Crossroads

I find myself at a crossroads with the direction of this blog at the moment.

Should I continue delving into my experience with workplace abuse?

Or am I going down a deep dark hole which is better left untravelled?  At least at the moment?

I've been feeling down lately, not at all hopeful and optimistic like I was at the beginning of the year anticipating new beginnings.  New adventures on the road to recovery.

In addition, a writer I met a few weeks ago gave me feedback yesterday on my blog.  He loves my writing style.  However, my content is triggering him.  As like me, he's a victim of workplace abuse and is still trying to find himself where he's at now.

To look at this man you would have no idea that he's been through anything traumatic.  In fact, he looks dignified.  He talks in a cultured voice.  There is no way, you would know what he's struggling with if he didn't disclose it.

Most of us look pretty good when we venture out.  Unless we share our stories, no one would ever know what we've been through and what we currently face.

On the other hand - or direction at the cross roads - is the gentleman I sat with at a function not long ago who read my blog post "I Survived Workplace Bullying and Lived to Tell the Tale."  He read it slowly and thoughtfully, then commented: "This is not atypical".  Taking out the "not" and the "a", left me with the statement "This is typical".

Apparently, although my story has details which others will not have, just as my writer friend's story probably differs vastly from mine, workplace bullying is not all that unusual in the workplace.  And getting rid of the person being targeted - and injured - by the bullying behaviours is also the standard rather than the norm.

In my current crossroads, I have a choice of two taking one of two forks in the road:  the one continues the story of workplace bullying; the other fork reveals pieces of recovery over the last seven years including current.

On one hand, since those of us who have been bullied in the workplace and lived to tell the tale, don't usually talk about it,  For me, it was up until now that I felt fear of what might happen to me if I said anything publicly. Yet, I've come to the place whereI feel it is important to write down the realities of workplace bullying for those who go behind me ... for those who are attempting to walk with someone who has been bullied and feel at a loss ... even for those who were bystanders in the workplace while the bullying behaviour was going on.

Yet, recovery is real, very real, too.  Sometimes I'm amazed at recovery that has already occurred while I was working out yet another difficult situation on the road to recovery.

The stories of recovery are important too.  Past ones as well as current ones.

Recovery, I'm discovering, is cumulative.  The blocks I put down in the very earliest parts of recovery back in 2006/2007 are still solidly in place now.  Without them, I wouldn't be where I am now; therefore, they have a part in the story.  However, what is happening now is also part of the story, and it is good too.

So why wait to tell the current part of the story?  Why not move back and forth from current to past and back again just to keep things fresh.

Why not bring some light into the darkness? 

I think I'll do just that.