A bully can be anyone.
You're not going to be able to recognize a bully by how they look. But rather by how they act. By their behaviour and characteristics.
I had an experience last week at a local pharmacy while trying to get my husband's prescription filled, I want to describe in this blog post why I believe I was interacting with a workplace bully.
Note: I used the word perceived in parenthesis in the title because in a sense it is my perception that this person may be a workplace bully. However, my thesis that she is a bully is based on her behaviour and how it matched up with my experience with bullies in the workplace.
*****
As most things in life, this is part of a story. As you probably know by now, I like to tell things in a story. As part of a whole.
Hubby needed to get his license renewed and needed a medical. Hubby does not go to the doctor until absolutely necessary which in this case was for this medical. I have no idea when was the last time he darkened the doors of the doctor's office.
He also doesn't like to take medicine which, again, is a contributing factor in this story aka drama.
His BP was high so the doctor asked him to restart the medication he was on and which he had not been taking, for a short period of time and then come back and see him on a specified date to see what effect being back on the medication had on his BP. New appointment made.
So far, so good.
He discovered that the medicine he had on hand was old. Very, very old. As in last time refilled was 2015. We're in 2018.
Oops.
Not so good.
So he dutifully went to the pharmacy he uses, a large chain type, to have it filled and got an earful and a refusal from the pharmacist.
She not only refused to fill it - which was reasonable - but she also refused to fax a prescription request to the doctor insisting, no demanding, that hubby see the doctor.
Ummmm. Do you see a problem here? Hubby had already seen the doctor and wasn't about to take another bite of time (unpaid) off work when he'd seen the doctor just two days before and had another appointment in 12 days to see him again.
Hubby is also going to take the path of least resistance so when the pharmacist says no, he's not going to go any further.
But he is going to fume and fuss.
This is where little wifey, me, comes in.
I dial the doctor's phone number and handed the phone to hubby. I also had it on speaker phone before I handed it over. The receptionist advised him to ask the pharmacist to fax over a prescription request and they would go from there.
You would think this would solve the problem, right?
Wrong.
Here is where the bully enters stage left. Or was it stage right? Or was she on the stage the entire time?
Again, I dailed the phone number, put it on speaker phone and went through all the press 1 for this, press 2 for that, press 3 if you're going to H-E-double hockey sticks (this one part of my weird sense of humour) and handed him the phone. He began explaining the situation and what was needed to the person on the other end of the line who cut him off midstream saying that they could not possibly fill the prescription.
I took over the phone and explained in a no nonsense way what the physician's receptionist had said to do and that we wanted them to fax a prescription request over. The phone call ended.
I assumed that this person would do as requested BUT I had my doubts.
Several hours later on my way back from my errands that day, I found myself passing that pharmacy so stopped by to enquire the status of his prescription.
Oops! Not one of my better ideas.
I found myself talking to the same voice, same mannerisms, same rushed talking as I'd heard on the phone with my husband.
I was asked if we'd received a phone call to say that the prescription had been filled and given the perception that a person was not to just come in unless they had received a phone call.
It turned out the person had never sent the requested fax in the first place.
She indicated that the word "fax" was incorrect. That us or the doctor asking for a fax was just plain wrong. So I switched to the word "call".
She denied that our conversation several hours earlier had ever taken place.
I kept explaining in logical order the timeline of events, that hubby had seen the doctor, what the doctor wanted, the series of events both in his personal visit and later phone call several hours earlier.
At that point, she told me I was getting upset and I had to go "over there".
I pointed out that I was trying very hard to be calm. At which point, she went "over there" to the pharmacist spewing words like fast flowing lava from her mouth.
The pharmacist was the same person hubby had talked to in person earlier. So I went through the entire timeline once again. That hubby had seen the doctor, what the doctor's wishes were, what the doctor's office had said to do about the prescription being very old. Eventually, the pharmacist relented and sent a fax requesting a new prescription for hubby. But only AFTER she had requested that the first person send the fax and be refused.
These are all signs of a bully in the workplace.
Turning the tables to indicate that the other person is wrong even when they are right; denying events or conversations; talking over people; refusing to listen especially refusing to listen to logic; accusing the targeted person of being emotional, in this case being upset, even if they are not showing outward signs of being upset.
All of these things - and more - conspire to put the bully in a position of power and control and reduce the target's power and control over the situation.
Hubby needed to get his license renewed and needed a medical. Hubby does not go to the doctor until absolutely necessary which in this case was for this medical. I have no idea when was the last time he darkened the doors of the doctor's office.
He also doesn't like to take medicine which, again, is a contributing factor in this story aka drama.
His BP was high so the doctor asked him to restart the medication he was on and which he had not been taking, for a short period of time and then come back and see him on a specified date to see what effect being back on the medication had on his BP. New appointment made.
So far, so good.
He discovered that the medicine he had on hand was old. Very, very old. As in last time refilled was 2015. We're in 2018.
Oops.
Not so good.
So he dutifully went to the pharmacy he uses, a large chain type, to have it filled and got an earful and a refusal from the pharmacist.
She not only refused to fill it - which was reasonable - but she also refused to fax a prescription request to the doctor insisting, no demanding, that hubby see the doctor.
Ummmm. Do you see a problem here? Hubby had already seen the doctor and wasn't about to take another bite of time (unpaid) off work when he'd seen the doctor just two days before and had another appointment in 12 days to see him again.
Hubby is also going to take the path of least resistance so when the pharmacist says no, he's not going to go any further.
But he is going to fume and fuss.
This is where little wifey, me, comes in.
I dial the doctor's phone number and handed the phone to hubby. I also had it on speaker phone before I handed it over. The receptionist advised him to ask the pharmacist to fax over a prescription request and they would go from there.
You would think this would solve the problem, right?
Wrong.
Here is where the bully enters stage left. Or was it stage right? Or was she on the stage the entire time?
Again, I dailed the phone number, put it on speaker phone and went through all the press 1 for this, press 2 for that, press 3 if you're going to H-E-double hockey sticks (this one part of my weird sense of humour) and handed him the phone. He began explaining the situation and what was needed to the person on the other end of the line who cut him off midstream saying that they could not possibly fill the prescription.
I took over the phone and explained in a no nonsense way what the physician's receptionist had said to do and that we wanted them to fax a prescription request over. The phone call ended.
I assumed that this person would do as requested BUT I had my doubts.
Several hours later on my way back from my errands that day, I found myself passing that pharmacy so stopped by to enquire the status of his prescription.
Oops! Not one of my better ideas.
I found myself talking to the same voice, same mannerisms, same rushed talking as I'd heard on the phone with my husband.
I was asked if we'd received a phone call to say that the prescription had been filled and given the perception that a person was not to just come in unless they had received a phone call.
It turned out the person had never sent the requested fax in the first place.
She indicated that the word "fax" was incorrect. That us or the doctor asking for a fax was just plain wrong. So I switched to the word "call".
She denied that our conversation several hours earlier had ever taken place.
I kept explaining in logical order the timeline of events, that hubby had seen the doctor, what the doctor wanted, the series of events both in his personal visit and later phone call several hours earlier.
At that point, she told me I was getting upset and I had to go "over there".
I pointed out that I was trying very hard to be calm. At which point, she went "over there" to the pharmacist spewing words like fast flowing lava from her mouth.
The pharmacist was the same person hubby had talked to in person earlier. So I went through the entire timeline once again. That hubby had seen the doctor, what the doctor's wishes were, what the doctor's office had said to do about the prescription being very old. Eventually, the pharmacist relented and sent a fax requesting a new prescription for hubby. But only AFTER she had requested that the first person send the fax and be refused.
These are all signs of a bully in the workplace.
Turning the tables to indicate that the other person is wrong even when they are right; denying events or conversations; talking over people; refusing to listen especially refusing to listen to logic; accusing the targeted person of being emotional, in this case being upset, even if they are not showing outward signs of being upset.
All of these things - and more - conspire to put the bully in a position of power and control and reduce the target's power and control over the situation.
*****
I was a customer. Someone who may or may not cross her path again.
I don't work with this woman; however, I came away with the distinct impression that I was dealing with a workplace bully because in my experience one person is never completely in the wrong while the other is completely in the right.
There were too many things that just didn't add up.
Along with that impression came the question: "Is this person targeting someone inside the pharmacy staff, in that little office, to bully?"
In my experience in the workplace, I observed the same kinds of behaviours that were being inflicted on me consistently and constantly also being lobbed at others on occasion as this (perceived) bully in the pharmacy was lobbing behaviours at me, a customer she's never seen before in her life - and probably will never see again.
I wonder ....
No comments:
Post a Comment