Bonnie, the lady who made it possible for me to attend Write Canada 2013 and who rejoiced with me in my victory this year. P.S. I gifted her with the scarf this year to thank her for her help last year. |
They scare me. Whether it's one or two or a whole bunch of them at once. They scare me.
Scratch out the word "scare". Replace it with the word "terrify" and we get closer to the truth. Which is why attending such events as World Wide Knit in Public Day at my local yarn store and Write Canada 2014 are such milestones on my road to recovery from workplace abuse.
A piece of background.
In January of 2012, when I was still very much in the throes of all the affects from my abusive situation in the workplace and very much struggling just to keep my head above water, I decided to try to get some (hopefully safe) socialization in the form of a book/Bible study called Moving From Fear To Freedom by Grace Fox, a Canadian author and speaker. The leader of our group was also a writer and had apparently been to Write Canada 2011 where she met Grace Fox. Thus, the choice of Grace's work for our book/Bible study.
Ramona, the prayer warrior who prayed me through Write Canada 2013 and looked out for me during this year's conference. I felt safe around her |
I couldn't have been more wrong.
About not having any more fears to work on.
It took me several weeks to realize why I was feeling such heightened anxiety at even the thought of going.
I was terrified of these people because I had deep-seated fears of being rejected. Which is not surprising when you realize that rejection was at the core of both of my abusive workplace situations.
Now fast forward ahead from 2012 to Write Canada 2014.
My recovery has progressed to the point where I felt ready to face that fear head on. I had been taking smaller steps, now I was ready for that giant leap in the form of a three-day conference.
Going to a conference like this is so different from a workplace situation. There are common threads among the attendees which make it easier to relate to each other.
First, we are all writers. Some published. Some just beginning. But we all have that one thing in common. We all have the love of the written word in common. These people were just like me in that respect.
Sandra Orchard, novelist, author of Deadly Devotion and Blind Trust. She was also a faculty member at this year's event. She is modelling another one of my scarves. |
Third, most of us are Canadians. Just like me.
Then there's the creativity which moves us to write - and also express ourselves in other forms of creative expression such as knitting, photography, etc. Just like me.
Most of all, we're just people who are on our own roads. On our journeys through life's difficulties. Just like me.
When you look at it through that lens in the camera of life, these people don't look so scary after all, do they?
They're Just. Like. Me.
And probably you too.
Warts and all.
More tomorrow.
I hope you have enjoying this blog and getting something worthwhile from it. I appreciate your comments and thoughts as I continue on these journeys ... blogging and recovery.
May God bless you richly as you walk your own journey on this path of life.
Glad you are overcoming your fears. It was my pleasure to meet you at WRITE CANADA.
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